Show Feelings. Don't Tell

Writing is my favourite subject. The ability to create worlds and to whisk readers away to another place. It's mind-blowing. Anyways, in class, we've been taught how to show feelings in writing, not tell. Instead of 'he was terrified' you can try 'his palms started to sweat and his heart thundered in his chest'. When you do this, you make an emotional connection with the reader making the story 10X better! Here's a story that I wrote, using the 'show not tell' ethic. I used another story, basing the plot off of that one. Toodles. 

  The Rip                                          

There were two brothers who were not at all alike; they were different in every way. The younger brother was always safe inside, reading, escaping this world, while the older brother was always on a new adventure. Snorkelling and diving, swimming and bombing, exploring caves, pretending to search for hidden treasures with his friends. On the rare days James would leave the house to sit on the sand, Jack would chide, “Come on you chicken. It’s only waves.” James would shake his head and retreat back into the safety and comfort of their house. Due to their differences, James and Jack fought endlessly. One day, their fighting and bickering helped repair their relationship.

One morning their mother got angry with them. “ Like a cat and a mouse! Out you go together,” she said, “and try to be nice to each other just for once. “Why did I have to spend time with you?” Jack grumbled. “I didn’t want to come. I would rather be inside.” James mumbled. “You’re such a baby!” Jack left him and went to the edge of the sea.  “Hey! Come here!” he yelled a little while later. Gingerly, James walked over to meet him. “Look how big the waves are! Let’s go out there.” James froze in place. “N-no, you mustn’t,” he said, imagining all the horrible things it could lead to… “Ah! You’re lame,” said Jack as he ran out into the water and dived under the waves.                               

James watched his brother swim further out, fear gripped his heart. He had reached the big waves now. Big, towering waves. They could easily shove him underneath, hurting him. Then, James saw it. A rip. A strong current, luring his brother out to the endless, merciless sea. Jack shouted and screamed, captured in the iron grip of the rip. James' palms started to sweat and his heart pounded in his chest, louder than drums. He had to follow him, had to try and save him. So, with a final glance back at the beach, James sprinted into the water, diving down, down under the waves.

Cold. So cold. The water was freezing! But James had to focus on the panicked screams of his brother. Even though his mind shouted desperately at him to turn around, and get back to shore where it was safe, he continued on. James came up to the surface, gasping for air. Then he dove back under. Nearly there. He was nearly to his brother. The terrified howls of Jack started to get clearer and clearer as James neared him. The anticipation of it made his arms move faster and his legs kick harder. He came up once more and saw him. Jack. Relief washed over them like the waves they were in. James swam to him and wrapped his arms around his older brother. He was fine. “Hey mate,” a voice called from behind the two brothers. “Did you need a lift?” They opened their eyes and saw a guy on a surfboard reaching out to them. They both frantically climbed on the board and away they went. 

“I’m sorry for trying to get you to come out to see the waves with me when you clearly didn’t want to,” Jack apologized. Jack and James were walking back up the beach and to their home. James looked over at his brother and nodded his head. “I forgive you. I’m sorry for always trying to get you to stay inside,” James replied. His brother turned to him and then embraced him in a hug. “I forgive you. Thank you for saving me.” James wrapped his arms around Jack and they both promised to compromise with each other. They walked away feeling lighter; a weight no longer on their shoulders.

“Why you boys are quiet for once,” their mother pointed out when James and Jack finally arrived home. They shared a smile and looked at each other. Smiles brighter than the rising sun and eyes twinkling like the stars, James replied, “The cat and the mouse forgave each other, mum.”

Reciprocal Reading: Helping Us Understand What We're Reading

When you're reading an important piece of text, do you really understand it? Do you remember the percentages, the facts or the main idea of the text? Reciprocal reading can help with that. In class, we're learning how to reciprocal read. Practising our skills on the text, Testing The Water helped me learn more and understand our local aquatic life better. It helped me learn more about macroinvertebrates (small animals with no backbone but are large enough to be seen without a microscope), how healthy our water is and how we can keep our rivers and creeks in great condition. This is something I made on reciprocal reading and Testing The Rivers. Toodles.

The Wonders Of water

 Water is something all living things need to survive. In science, we are revising the cycle water goes through. Evaporation, condensation and then precipitation. Filling out the boxes with information was fast and easy but hopefully, in the near future, I'll start to find out more things about water. 

My Cold 🧊 Task

Writing is amazing. The ability to construct an entire world with worlds is mind-blowing. In class, we were to write a narrative on anything. I decided to base my story on Addie Katz, the daughter of the prime minister in my story.  She has a bit of social anxiety but has been tasked with doing a welcome speech for the prime minister. Does she do it or does she chicken out? Read to find out.

The teacher was cut off by the bell, signalling assembly, a special assembly with an esteemed guest.

Everyone got up and started hurrying to the hall, except for me. I took my time packing my stuff and when

I had finished, and I finally got up to leave. “Addie, could you stay back for a minute,” Miss Green asked

kindly. I nodded my head and made my way to her polished oak desk. “I need one of my students to do a

speech in the assembly.” I nodded in understanding. “Did you want me to choose someone,” I asked meekly.

“No thank you, Addie,” she responded. “But, I do need you to do it. You will be doing a speech for our

school during assembly.”

No. This can’t be happening. The words echoed in my mind, replaying like a broken record. “You will

be doing a speech for our school during assembly.” But I couldn’t do it. This was supposed to be an honour

considering who was visiting. The prime minister. She was doing a trip around America, visiting the schools

I supposed. I nodded my head, agreeing even though everything in my being was yelling at me not to. This

speech was going to be a nightmare! I never speak up or raise my voice. Ever. Imagine, me, Addie Katz,

doing a welcome speech for the person who runs our country. Just the thought of it is terrifying! Terrifying

enough to want to back out, to run for the hills. The mere idea of quitting is impossible though because the

prime minister is my mother.

I walked to the hall anxiously anticipating what I could do. Maybe I could not go; ditch the entire thing.

Then I think of the scolding I would get when I come home. The hall was getting closer as I could hear the

bustling of students, eagerly waiting for the arrival of prime minister Josephine Katz. Some were excitedly

counting down the seconds til mother arrived; others, me and probably only me, were counting down the

minutes till mother would leave. As I arrived at the hall, I crossed through the doorway and saw everyone,

save for Mrs Katz, sitting in neat rows of chairs. Hundreds of kids, hundreds of eyes, and they would all be

on me. 

A sleek, black limo approached the school gates. The prime minister was here. Stepping out onto the

pavement, Mrs Katz was looking superior in a navy blue suit. Sunglasses shading her eyes, eyes that I

inherited, Mrs Katz strutted up to the hall, two bulky bodyguards flanking her. She walked with pride and

confidence, making even that look regal. Her presence in the hall silenced the chattering students and I

started to make my way to the stage.

Each step made my heart pound, pounding louder than drums. Every eye was on me, monitoring my every

move. I could feel her gaze burning at the back of my head, looking for any wrong moves. Stepping up on

the stage, I walked to the podium. Everyone in this hall was watching me. Hundreds of eyes, but only one

pair mattered. Mother’s. I knew she was watching, seeing if I would taint the family name. But I had to prove

her wrong. Had to show her she was able to be proud of me. So, with my chin held high, I pushed down my

fear and welcomed her to our school. After an hour of speeches and groveling from the teachers to Mrs Katz,

I wished her well on the rest of her excursion around America. Watching mother walk out of the hall, I

caught her eye. She smiled and nodded at me, silently saying “Well done. You’ve made me proud.” I smiled back, feeling unusually accomplished.

So, with this being a cold task, I have a lot to work on. One, shortening my word count and two, more figurative language. Making this was fun, but improving it would be even better.

Our Mystery Shape Investigation

In my opinion, geometry is annoying. That is what we were learning in maths. Geometry. Geometry is the study of shapes and their attributes. If you want to be an architect when you grow up or even a builder, you need to know geometry. In class, my teacher played what am I but with a shape instead. She gave us clues and left us to it. Since I won with the help of my sidekick, Daizaleah, we had to make a sort of sheet on our method. Here it is.

In the end, we were rewarded with chocolate fishies, aka a piece of heaven. If I got a chocolate fishie every time I did well in maths, I might like it more. Toodles.